Command Control Page 13

  “Sadie.”

  She stayed where she was, stripping out of her clothes while steam filled the bathroom, clouding the mirror above the sink. Naked, she turned to him. “You’re still dressed.”

  He started pulling at his clothes, never taking his eyes off her. She watched, admiring every inch of him—all hers. At least for one more night.

  “Come with me, Mr. Ruggedly Handsome.” Sadie opened the shower door and stepped inside. Warm water rushed over her. Laughing, he moved in behind her, making the small space feel tight and intimate.

  With the showerhead at her back, she faced him, raising her hand to her mouth. “Did I say that out loud?”

  He grinned. “Yeah, you did.”

  Logan, joking and relaxed, stood in her shower, waiting for her instructions. The excitement was like a shot of adrenaline. She suspected it had as much to do with knowing she’d relieved some of the tension from his day as it did with what was about to happen.

  “I want you on your knees,” she said. “Kissing me.”

  Logan lowered his large frame to the shower floor. Starting at her inner thigh, he ran one hand down her leg. His touch pierced through her, sharp and exciting.

  “Place your foot on the edge of the tub,” he said. “Please.”

  Sadie obeyed, leaning back against the tile wall. Warm water rushed over her, teasing her breasts. Her body hummed with anticipation as he drew her hips forward, away from the waterfall. She watched as one hand went to her core, spreading her open. She felt the other arm wrap around her body. His palm pressed against her bottom, holding her in place.

  “I’ve been dying to taste you,” he murmured.

  His tongue licked her entrance and she was lost. Closing her eyes, she let him command her body. There was nothing tentative about his actions tonight. He held her tightly, his mouth rough and demanding against her.

  Her fingers pressed into the tile, searching for something to hold. She’d asked for this, but she’d never thought, she’d never imagined...

  “Logan!” her voice echoed against the shower walls as the orgasm washed over her. If this was what the man could do with his mouth, she would have to find something stronger than pink ribbon to bind him to her bed. She might never let him go.

  He released his hold, drawing his mouth away. She opened her eyes, watching as he rose from the shower floor. The heat in his gaze—that alone sent an aftershock through her body.

  He reached for her. Placing his hands on her hips, he turned her to face the wall behind him. “Bend over and place your hands against the tiles.”

  One hand ran up her back, guiding her into position.

  “Don’t move. I’m going to grab a condom.”

  She heard the shower door open and felt the rush of cool air. Seconds later he was back, condom on and ready for action.

  “Good girl, you didn’t move.”

  “I can be obedient.” She smiled at him over her shoulder. “When it suits me.”

  He let out a low laugh, and then she felt him, hard and demanding at her entrance. He thrust against her, filling her as the water rushed down her back. Right now he was 100 percent in control, taking what he wanted, what he needed from her. And she was ready to give him everything she had.

  The night before every action had linked back to his emotional needs. But tonight? She knew he’d locked his feelings away for later. But she felt hers rising to the surface. Maybe it was the orgasm or the way he’d taken charge, either way she knew deep down that walking away from this man would not be easy.

  Her core tightened around him as Logan’s body smacked against hers. The orgasm built inside her. She was so close, she just needed—

  “Touch yourself,” he said, his voice rough and raw. “I need you with me. And I’m ready to explode, Sadie.”

  Moving one hand to the center of the tile wall over her head, she dropped the other down, reaching between her legs.

  “Logan. Wow,” she gasped. Her back arched and she squeezed her eyes shut, lifting her head back, feeling the water spray her face. Warmth, pleasure, it was all there, washing over her body.

  “Logan!” For the second night, her orgasm began and ended with that one word—his name.

  15

  “YOU’RE GOOD IN the water. Maybe you should ditch the army and join the navy.”

  Logan swallowed his bourbon, doing his damnedest not to laugh. After what was hands down the best shower of his life, he felt too good to send the fiery liquid shooting out of his nose. Safely out of the laughing-while-drinking zone, he said, “What the navy does in the water? A little different.”

  Sitting cross-legged on the bed she’d tied him to the night before, wearing bright pink underwear and her marines T-shirt, Sadie nodded and refilled her glass with another healthy serving of bourbon. He’d pulled on a pair of boxers and claimed the other side of the mattress as if this—drinking in bed after shower-sex—was the routine. But it wasn’t for him, not by a long shot.

  Logan glanced out the window. The middle of the night was slowly giving way to early morning. “We might want to think about calling it a night.”

  She nodded. “Do you feel like you can sleep now? When you arrived you seemed on edge.”

  “Yeah. I was.”

  “This favor,” she said, turning the glass around in her hands. “It was bigger than walking a friend’s dog or helping him move.”

  He nodded and drained the rest of his bourbon, debating whether he should tell her. Holding back felt wrong after what she’d given him earlier. Pleasure, comfort and, most important, the feeling that he’d moved on. After spending the day revisiting the past, he’d needed to know he could push forward with his life.

  “I met with the woman writing a book about our last mission,” he said.

  Her brow furrowed. “I thought your teammate was handling the reporter.”

  “He fell in love with her.” He turned the empty glass around in his hands. Little Miss Maggie, as Hunter referred to her, was head over heels for him. Logan had seen it in her eyes when he’d sat down to talk to her. Part of him had relaxed once he knew that what Maggie felt for Hunter was real. A woman in love was a lot less likely to screw over his team with bad press. Still, talking to her, letting her print anything about his mistakes, was a risk.

  “He’s putting it all on the line—this mission, his career—to be with her.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. So I drove to New York and answered her questions. I told her the truth about my last mission. I told her about how I was still grieving when we deployed,” he said. “It had only been a few months since Jane’s death. I thought I was prepared to lose her. She’d been sick for so long. The pain and sadness—it took me by surprise.”

  “And you’re generally prepared for everything that comes your way,” she said.

  Except Sadie, he thought. He hadn’t expected her. “I am,” he said. “It’s my job to be prepared to handle any situation.”

  “Like showing up in Afghanistan expecting vehicles and getting handed a horse.”

  “Like that.” He offered a faint smile. “I explained what happened during that mission, how I saw Hunter emerge with the blonde woman, the aid worker, in his arms, and I froze. I should have been scanning the area, waiting to take out the bad guys. But I wasn’t.”

  He looked up from his glass, meeting Sadie’s patient gaze. “One look at the woman in Hunter’s arms and I saw Jane. For a split second, the grief came rushing back. I was lying in the desert, staring through the scope of my sniper rifle, and I was drowning. While my head was somewhere else, Hunter got shot. Our supposedly heroic ride ended with one of our own nearly losing his life. And that’s on me.”

  “I’m proud of you for telling her.” Sadie scooted closer and rested her hand on his thigh. “But what
does this mean for your job?”

  He shook his head. “Honestly? I’m not sure. Hunter’s girl, Maggie, her dad served, and I get the sense she meant it when she told me she wanted to write a positive account of our mission. And it sounds like what happened, my mistake and Hunter getting shot, will be more of a footnote than the focus of her book.”

  She gave his leg a light squeeze. “That’s good news, right?”

  “It is. But if one reporter is sniffing around the story, there are bound to be others.” He rested his hand on top of hers, craving the connection. “If I keep my head down and stay out of the spotlight, I should be able to return to work and prevent my team from looking bad.”

  She nodded slowly. “You love what you do.”

  “Yes.” He looked down at their joined hands resting on his leg. A few days ago, he’d been second-guessing and doubting if he was ready to move on. Now he knew. She’d helped him find his way. There was so much he would miss about her when they parted. He’d miss her creative approach to sex, but her teasing, fun-loving nature topped the list.

  “Being a ranger—it’s who I am. I love serving my country,” he said. “But it takes so much. So damn much.”

  * * *

  SADIE STARED AT his hand covering hers. She had been wildly intimate with this man in the shower, but now? The fact that he was opening up to her, talking about his day and how his job impacted his life meant he considered her a friend, someone he trusted.

  She felt the same about him. In a few days, this fling had started to mean more to her than any of her past relationships. If they took it further—

  No. Impossible. He’d been clear—his position as a ranger meant everything to him. If a reporter discovered her identity while they were still together, unwanted publicity would rain down on him. And tonight she’d started the ball rolling toward her big announcement.

  She wasn’t willing to sacrifice her future. She couldn’t. Her father, her sister and now a newborn baby depended on her.

  “I’ve found that the best things, the things we want the most, come at a cost. Sometimes a job isn’t just a job.” She withdrew her hand, wrapping both around her glass. “I don’t risk my life when I go to work. Not like you do. In fact, most of the time, I work in my pajamas.”

  She turned the glass in her hands, searching for the words and debating how much she wanted to tell him. “But I understand what it means to make sacrifices in order to follow your passion. Talking to that writer today, not knowing what she would write, took guts.”

  “Hunter took a bullet for me. I didn’t have a choice.”

  “I still think you’re brave. To tell her everything. To risk so much,” she said, feeling like a coward. She should tell him that being with her could cost him. All it would take was one reporter snapping a picture of them together once the news of her identity broke. Then the press would start asking questions. Who was the man with MJ Lane? What did he do?

  Logan should decide whether he wanted to stay, once he learned the whole truth. But she knew what was holding her back. He’d leave. And as much as it had hurt to watch Kurt walk away, this would hurt more. It was silly. She’d only known Logan a short time, but she felt more at home with him than she’d ever felt with another man.

  “Thing is, I didn’t.” He looked away, focusing on some distant point outside the window. “I didn’t tell her everything. There are some things I haven’t told anyone. Before my wife got sick...Jane wanted out. Of our marriage. She hated the constant deployments. She wanted kids and with me gone all the time...”

  One look at his pained expression and Sadie knew. “You would have given it all up. For her.”

  “Maybe. Probably.”

  Wow. When it came to personal relationships, Logan deserved an A+. Sadie clung to her job and the constancy it provided, even knowing it drove a wedge between her and her father, not to mention her romantic relationships. But Logan? He’d loved his late wife enough to consider walking away from his passion—being a ranger.

  Suddenly, it became crystal clear. He’d meant it when he’d said he couldn’t commit emotionally. Physically, he was ready. But emotionally, he was still in love with his wife, the woman he would have risked everything for.

  For him, this was just a fling—a friendly fling, but it ended there.

  “But I’ll never know for sure,” he continued. “I didn’t have to make the call. Jane got sick and it was no longer a question. We needed the insurance to cover her care. Eighteen months later, the cancer won. My job was all I had left. Being with my team—there’s purpose in that. I know the war in Afghanistan is not popular, but I’ve seen firsthand what happens when you offer people freedom and hope. It comes at a cost, and only time will tell if it is worth it.”

  “It is,” she said firmly. She was doing everything in her power to offer one little baby a bright future, but he’d tried to make that possible for thousands.

  “I know. I believe in what we’re doing. I want to be with my team. After Jane died, I needed to get back to work. Watching someone you love die from cancer...”

  The expression on his face was so distant; it was as if he’d returned to the moment when he’d lost his wife.

  “I’d never felt so helpless. Sitting by her hospital bed, unable to do anything. None of the treatments did enough. She was too far along when they discovered the cancer. It was in her ovaries. After living through that, I needed to take action. I thought I was ready to be back on active duty. I thought I was handling the grief. But I wasn’t.”

  He ran his hand down over his face. “I’m sorry. Unloading on you like this falls outside the parameters of a fling.”

  “So does dinner in a closed bookstore,” she said. “You had a bad day. You’re allowed to talk about it.”

  Sadie set her glass on the nightstand. Reaching over, she plucked his empty one from his hand and placed it next to hers. In a short time, they’d become friends who listened, offered comfort and something more.

  Placing one hand on either side of his face, she drew his mouth to hers. She brushed her lips across his, softly, gently.

  His arms wrapped around her, holding her close as he leaned back, until he hit the pillow. She lifted her head and took in the exhaustion written all over his face. Resting her head on his shoulder, she pressed her body close to his.

  Respect, friendship and desire—she felt all of those things for him. She could love this man. But like always, it came down to a simple choice—her career or her personal life. Could she risk her future to follow her heart?

  Sadie closed her eyes. If she did, who would support her father and her sister? What about baby Lacey? She had savings thanks to her first book, but there was no guarantee it would be enough.

  And in the back of her mind, a little voice said, No, you love your career. And she did. She wasn’t saving the world or teaching special-needs children, but she loved what she did. Part of her didn’t want to walk away from her passion for anyone. She wanted to find a way to be true to herself and fall in love. She didn’t want to choose.

  Sadie felt Logan relax as he drifted off to sleep. Either way, she’d probably never have to make that call. There was no sense in risking her heart if his still belonged to someone else.

  16

  SADIE ARRIVED AT her sister’s cottage the next night feeling like a summertime Santa Claus. She’d brought the food—burgers, fries and apple pie for all—and everything the saleswoman at the baby store two towns over recommended.

  “Anything left at the store?” Logan asked, eyeing her bags as he helped her unload.

  “She needs these things.”

  Logan peered into the bag holding the high-end video baby monitor. “I’m pretty sure Laurel can hear little Lacey cry from anywhere in the house.”

  “But now she can see her,” Sadie said, pickin
g up the bag with the baby wipe warmer. She’d been a little unsure of that item herself, especially seeing as it was summer, but she’d purchased all the items the saleswoman had written down. When Sadie returned to New York, she wanted Laurel to have everything she might need.

  Logan set the bags inside the back door, took the monitor box out and examined it. “Infrared night vision. Laurel is going to be more equipped than I was on my last mission.”

  Her sister burst into the kitchen with a screaming Lacey in her arms. Aunt Lou followed. From the other room, Sadie could hear the television and Greg cursing loudly.

  “What is all of that?” Laurel asked, eyeing the mountain of bags.

  Sadie shrugged. “I had a few errands to run and stopped by the baby store you told me about. The saleswoman was very nice. She said you needed all of this stuff. I figured since the baby came early, you might not have everything. And you can return what you don’t need.”

  “Oh, my God, thank you! Sadie, you didn’t have to buy all this stuff. Having you here—that’s enough.” Her twin looked close to tears.

  “Here, let me take the baby while you unpack.” Aunt Lou scooped the crying Lacey from Laurel’s arms and began cooing at her. As if she’d decided Lou had the magic touch, Lacey quieted down.

  “Wow,” Sadie said. “Laurel is never going to let you leave.”

  Lou smiled. “Logan, why don’t you grab a drink and join Greg in the other room for the end of the game?”

  “When it’s over, we’ll eat,” Laurel added, pulling a pack of onesies out of a shopping bag. “These are so cute! And we’re almost out. You just saved me a trip to the Laundromat.”

  Logan grabbed a beer and escaped. Laurel followed, insisting she wanted to put the baby supplies away. That left Sadie alone with Aunt Lou and the now sleeping baby.

  “I was disappointed you didn’t win my nephew in the raffle,” Aunt Lou said, bypassing pleasantries as if they’d known each other for decades.

  “I did my best.”