Search and Seduce Page 11

  Glancing at the tent, she spotted Mark on a ladder adjusting the speakers. It was warm again today, and he’d cast off his flannel shirt. With his arms raised overhead, his T-shirt rose up revealing his toned lower abdomen. She wanted to run her lips over the contours of his sculpted body. She wanted another night, blindfolded in his bed...

  Her face heated. Carrying a secret with her through the day was nothing new. But this one threatened to melt her from the inside out, leaving her wet and needy from the memory of their very naughty dance. She turned away, running her hands back and forth over the ribbon.

  “Are you okay, Ames?” T.J. glanced over at her.

  “Nervous, that’s all.”

  Country music filled the tent. It wasn’t the same as last night, not even close, but she heard the drums in the background, and her mind turned to Mark pressing up against her. Naked. The ribbon was soft to the touch, but his skin felt better.

  “About getting everything ready,” she added quickly, feeling her cheeks heat up.

  T.J. studied her a moment longer as if trying to decide if he should probe further. But then he looked away, and Amy breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Looks like the stragglers are finally here.” T.J. nodded to the open field connecting her property to the Benton family home. “With the added manpower, we’ll be ahead of schedule in no time.”

  Amy spotted Gabe and her cousin walking briskly through the freshly cut grass. They’d been glued together for the past few days. But now they were maintaining their distance. Warning bells went off in Amy’s mind. If Gabe had hurt her...

  But no, this was Eloise. Her cousin steered clear of serious. She definitely knew more about how to have a fling than Amy.

  They approached the tent, heading straight for her and T.J.

  “About time you guys showed up,” T.J. called. “Did you at least bring doughnuts?”

  Gabe shook his head. No one would label Gabe the easygoing, fun-loving brother, but Amy would generally stop short of severe. Not today, she thought, stepping away from the ribbon, her concern brewing.

  Gabe stopped in front of her. “Amy, I’m sorry. I have to leave. My team’s going wheels up. For all I know, it is just a training exercise, but I have to go.”

  Beside her, T.J. let out a soft curse. But Amy just nodded, feeling the color draining from her face as her body switched to autopilot. She’d heard those words so many times. I have to go. Just a training exercise. But there was always a chance his SEAL team would be headed for the latest conflict. And some of them might not come home.

  “I understand,” she said, wrapping her arms around Gabe, hugging him tight. The familiar, helpless feeling of saying goodbye to a man who might never return surfaced, and she knew it would linger.

  Under the tent, the music stopped. She spotted Mark, his expression grim. He might not know yet, but he’d guessed. He’d gone through these motions so many times.

  “If there was any way to stay for the opening and dedication, I would,” Gabe said, drawing back and releasing her.

  “I know.” She stepped away as Mrs. Benton approached, her face lined with worry. “I’ll let you say your goodbyes.”

  Amy signaled for Jango, and he moved to her side, pressing against her leg, offering support.

  “Amy, wait,” her cousin called. “I’ll go with you. Give you a hand.”

  “Eloise, stay,” she said. “I can manage.”

  “No.” Eloise turned to Gabe, offering a smile as she gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Be safe out there. I’ll see you when you’re back in town.”

  Gabe nodded, and Amy could see the relief on his face that he’d escaped a long, tearful goodbye. But anything more than a quick kiss would violate the rules of a fling, Amy thought ruefully. And Eloise always stuck to the playbook when it came to men. She even made it look easy.

  Maybe if Amy followed similar guidelines with Mark, she could have another night, maybe more, and still be spared the heartache when he left. Jango nuzzled her leg, and she blindly reached for him, running her hand over his head. Or maybe she should have followed the no-military-men rule without exceptions.

  “El, I need to go.” Amy turned and headed for the house. If she stayed, she might fall apart. And she didn’t have time to pull herself back together before the guests arrived.

  Eloise caught up with her halfway to the house, not saying a word as they approached the back door. Amy glanced at her cousin and saw one lone tear running down her cheek. Eloise quickly wiped it away. Amy looked at the house. Almost there.

  Inside, she found two glasses and filled them with water from the kitchen sink. Turning, she held one out to her cousin.

  “Tell me the truth, Eloise. Are you okay?”

  “I checked the news on my phone. After he told me.” Eloise accepted the water, holding it tight between her hands. “Aid workers are trapped in Syria. There are mounting tensions in some small country in Africa I had never heard of and—”

  “Guessing doesn’t help,” Amy said quietly. “Trust me.”

  “How did you do this over and over?” Eloise demanded. “And not lose your mind?”

  “I didn’t have a choice. I married a man who wanted to serve his country. He firmly believed that every time he deployed, it was worth risking his life.”

  “Did you?”

  Amy took a long drink of water, turning the question over and over. “When I stepped back and looked at those headlines, yes, I did. Those aid workers in the news, what were they doing?”

  “Rescuing children from a small village torn apart by war.”

  “After Darren left, I would watch the news for the first week, telling myself he was saving the world. It was greedy to want him home with me when he could be out there helping others. But some days, I woke up and I wanted to be selfish.” Amy shrugged. “I wished I could have my husband home safe and let someone else save the world. I loved him, and I hated the thought of losing him.”

  Amy drained the rest of her glass and set it aside. “I know you said you wouldn’t, but did you fall in love with Gabe?”

  “No.” Eloise’s eyes widened. “Of course not. I care about him. We’ve been friends for years. But we only spent a couple of nights together. I just... I wasn’t ready to let him go. I’m usually the one who ends things, not the other way around.”

  Amy nodded, knowing she should feel relieved that her cousin had not fallen head over heels for a man whose duty required that he walk away at a moment’s notice. But inside she knew this was a warning. Mark was leaving, too. If losing her temporary lover shook her cousin, what would happen to Amy when Mark left? They’d said no strings, no promises, but saying the words didn’t mean her heart believed them.

  12

  AN HOUR LATER, Amy stood by the buffet table with a smile plastered on her face. She’d changed into her red sheath dress, matching blazer, stockings and simple black heels. Her blond hair was pulled up into a twist that looked effortless despite the dozens of pins required to keep it in place. In her hand, she held a plate overflowing with cookies. Moving through the crowded space, she felt as if she were navigating a nightmare.

  “There you are.” Her mother-in-law grabbed her arm, pulling her toward a group of familiar faces. “You remember Alan and Marie Hardwick from church?”

  “Of course.” Amy held out her free hand. “Thank you for coming.”

  “We’re so proud of you. Building this all by yourself,” Marie Hardwick said.

  “Oh, I had lots of help,” Amy said, nodding to her former mother-in-law.

  “Of course you did.” Marie kept a hold of Amy’s hand, leaning closer. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do with the profits?”

  Amy felt her hand holding the dessert plate dip, but caught herself before she dropped the jam-filled cookies on Marie Hardwick’s shoes.

  “The profits?” she repeated. From breeding dogs? She hoped that after expenses she would break even. But that was a big if, considering no
t all of the pups would be like Foxtrot and his brother Charlie. Only the top dogs would sell to the military or even police departments. If she saw profits from the business, enough to cover her expenses and then some, she planned to reinvest the money, maybe hire another trainer or buy a second female dog with strong bloodlines from overseas. Or maybe she would just be lucky to afford dog food and groceries.

  “Our son is a lawyer in Portland, and he works with small businesses. Kevin. He was two years behind you in school. I’m sure he would be willing to help you start a charity fund.”

  Mrs. Hardwick released her hand, and Amy’s arms dropped to her sides. The cookies fell to the grass. They wanted her to give away the money she made from her business?

  “We hadn’t given it much thought,” her mother-in-law said, filling the silence. “We’ve been so busy preparing for today.”

  Amy stared at the broken cookies, the jam sticking to the blades of grass. “If you’ll excuse me,” she said, reaching for Jango’s collar. “I don’t want him to be tempted. By the cookies.”

  The Hardwicks looked down at Jango and then up at her, their faces lined with sympathy.

  “I’m sorry, dear,” Marie said. “I should have waited until another time. Today must be so hard for you.”

  “It’s not that,” Amy began. But what could she say that didn’t make her sound awful and selfish? “Jango’s gluten-free. The cookies will make him ill.”

  Amy fled before the Hardwicks’ sympathy turned to confusion. She moved through the crowd, not stopping or making eye contact. The space grew smaller and smaller, shrinking, tightening, pushing the people closer. It was like fighting through a maze.

  Amy reached the edge of the tent and wrapped her hand around a tent pole to keep herself from tumbling over. From here, she could hear the dogs barking in the kennel, begging to join the party, to play, to chase. She wanted to join them, hold them close, forget this day that had started with a happiness she hadn’t felt in so long and descended into this confused, trapped place.

  “Amy.” A hand touched her shoulder, and she flinched. The deep, familiar voice moved closer, surrounding her, as if trying to protect her from the people under the tent. “It’s just me. Mark.”

  She turned to him—Mark—the one person who understood her, who didn’t expect perfection.

  “Hey, you don’t look so hot,” he said, keeping his hand on her shoulder.

  “Thanks,” she said. “Now I feel ready to get up in front of hundreds of people.”

  “You’re beautiful, and red was a great choice,” he said, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. “But you look pale, Amy. And you were running away from your party.”

  Amy stared past him into the tent. “I dropped a plate of cookies.”

  “I can see how that would be upsetting,” he said, leaning close. “I know how hungry you must be, seeing as you refused to eat the leftover fries this morning, but that doesn’t mean you need to leave.”

  Amy laughed, the panic of the event gradually receding.

  “That’s better. I like seeing you happy.” His thumb traced small circles over her collarbone, dipping below the high neckline of her dress.

  “You can’t,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “If someone sees.”

  “My hand on your shoulder?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “It’s more,” she said, feeling his thumb run across the top of her breast.

  “You and I know that, but no else. It’s our secret.” He withdrew his hand. “And I think we’re safe for now.”

  Amy stared into his brown eyes. This man possessed a seemingly endless reserve of strength, always there for her when she needed to lean on someone. But he wasn’t permanent. She couldn’t forget that.

  “You’re leaving.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’ll stay until the end. I already told Mrs. Benton I would help clean up.”

  “I didn’t mean the party,” she said. “You’re leaving Heart’s Landing, redeploying.”

  “Not right now, Amy. Today, I’m here for you. Promise.”

  They’d said no promises, no strings, but this was one she wanted to keep, holding it close, taking comfort from those words. She wished she could take his hand and lead him away from all of this—

  “Welcome!”

  Amy jumped at the sound of her mother-in-law’s voice pouring through the speakers. Jango pushed up against Amy’s leg, steadying her.

  “Guess it’s showtime.” Mark stepped to the side. “Ready?”

  Shoulders back, Amy headed for the front of the tent determined to move past this grand spectacle.

  “I’d like to introduce you to my daughter-in-law, Amy Benton,” Elizabeth continued. “Years ago, a shared love of dogs drew Amy and Darren together. I know many of you here today have boarded your pets with her or turned to Amy for help training your four-legged friends. I hope you will continue to support her efforts to make this business a success.”

  Amy stumbled, quickly regaining her footing as she approached the big blue bow on the kennel’s front door. Her mother-in-law placed the microphone in her hand, leaning close.

  “Thank you,” Elizabeth murmured.

  As the older woman whom Amy had considered a second mother for so many years stepped away, Amy noted the gleam of unspilled tears in her eyes. There were lines on her face, visible up close despite Elizabeth Benton’s carefully applied makeup, that spoke to years of worry, first for her husband and then her boys.

  “You’re welcome,” Amy said, feeling the truth behind those words for the first time. She had not set out to build this place as an ever-present link to her late husband, but she could pretend for one more day. Amy could take her place on that pedestal of perfection alongside the imperfect man she had loved and lost. And she would—for Elizabeth Benton, the woman who’d spent her life worrying and waiting. Amy could choose to never travel that path again. But this mother of five was locked into a future of not knowing if her sons were in danger or if they would return.

  “Hello,” Amy began, pausing at the sound of her voice through the speakers. It was clear and strong. Looking out at the crowd, she spotted Luke and T.J., who stood in the front row, the medals on their dress uniforms sparkling under the strands of Christmas lights.

  Don’t be selfish.

  “Three years ago, when I first opened my K-9 boarding and training business, I had my husband’s full support. But then most of you knew Darren. He came from a family of dog lovers. Some of them are here today.” She paused, gesturing to the Benton brothers.

  “He joined the navy determined to become a SEAL. Once he did that, he set his sights on becoming a war dog handler. He believed he could better serve his country with a four-legged teammate at his side. And Darren, well, he crushed every goal he ever set for himself,” she continued.

  “One night, while he was home on leave, we came up with a plan to breed future war dogs.” My plan, she thought, knowing she was entering the gray area between fact and fiction. But she forced a smile and pressed on.

  “After Darren gave his life in service of his country, I decided to turn the breeding and training center into a reality. I wanted to provide the best dogs. Animals that would keep the soldiers at their sides safe in war zones, where that feels like a foreign concept.”

  Applause punctuated her words, growing and becoming louder. She saw the pride on Elizabeth Benton’s face. Amy’s gaze traveled through the crowd, landing on Mark. He’d remained in the back of the crowd, leaning against a tent pole. Her resolve faltered.

  She’d danced naked for him last night, and she’d woken up today without regrets. The woman who’d done that—she was not a saint. Not even close. And that woman should not be up here, pretending.

  She quickly looked away from Mark. No one knew. It was their secret. But how many more truths could she keep under lock and key before the pressure of carrying them from dawn to dusk broke her?

  She’d wanted to find her place outside of Darren’s sha
dow, but now that she was standing in the spotlight, it felt as if she was risking too much, as if standing here illuminated fears she preferred to ignore.

  13

  MARK KNEW WHEN a mission had headed south. He’d seen it often, when fallen soldiers—out of their minds with pain, shaken by the recent memory of an attack—tried to escape the helicopter or fight the PJs working to save them.

  Amy faltered, her smile and confidence slipping away. He saw it in her eyes, the way she glanced at the open field outside the tent. She’d delivered the performance everyone expected, the one that would offer the Benton family comfort. But he had a feeling she could only maintain the lie for so long.

  Mark pushed off the tent pole and headed for her, sticking to the outskirts of the gathered crowd. He needed to get to Amy, to divert the focus and steal her away from here. She’d been through so much, worked so damn hard to pull her life together; she didn’t owe anyone an explanation.

  She raised the microphone again. “I’m sorry. When I think about what these dogs are capable of, how they can help by detecting explosives, and so much more, I...” She pursed her lips together.

  “Keeping those men safe, sending them home to their families, that is important to me,” she added softly.

  The soft murmur of voices started as a whisper and grew to a roar, all in agreement. Applause followed, reminding him that everyone here today wished Darren’s last mission had resulted in a homecoming instead of a funeral.

  Mark halted, steps from the front of the tent and Amy. He wanted Darren here, alive and breathing. But if Darren had lived, Amy would belong to his friend. Last night would never have happened.

  No regrets. He’d written that rule. But damn, he felt torn between a need to help this brave, beautiful woman move forward, to honor their mutual attraction, and loyalty to the man who had been his closest friend.

  One glance at this crowd drove home the fact that Darren was a good person, loved by so many. And Mark? Shit, he’d never merit this reception. No one would put his name on a building.

  Because he’d never let anyone get that close, not when he could lose his life on a mission.